“I can’t, babe (inaudible) I have a few hours.”
“That’s not long enough.”
“Let’s make the best of it.”
Lorenz then trailed them to their room and listened at the door for a few minutes. The following morning he returned, slipped a maid fifty bucks to let him into the room. He took photos of two empty champagne bottles, a plate of half-eaten strawberries (so trite), and stuffed the sheets from the bed into his duffel bag.
“Why did he take the sheets?” I say.
“Semen samples. Classy, huh?”
I digest the sordid details and then say, “Who was she? Do you know?”
“I have no idea,” she says. “But when I first saw the tape I thought it was Jane.”
“Your best friend Jane ?” I say, horrified.
“Yeah. But it turned out, it was just her body and hair double. I mean, this girl could be Jane’s lost, slutty twin . And I’ve always suspected Scott of having a thing for Jane. So when I saw this video my heart literally stopped and I’m thinking to myself, Oh, my God, I am so going to kill Scott, and then Jane, and then myself. And the only thing that pulled me out of the moment was my next thought, one that made me almost smile. I thought to myself, Daphne is going to get three kids out of this deal.”
“Wait,” I say, as innocently and nonchalantly as possible. “Daphne gets the kids if you and Scott both die?”
Apparently I’m not subtle enough for Maura, who says ever so defensively, “Well, she’s married , Claudia And she wants kids.”
“Oh, yeah. I understand,” I say, but just as I did on the day of Raymond Jr.‘s baptism, I have a twinge of envy and small stab of indignation. I hope that at the very least, I am the backup should Daphne die, too. I decide this probably isn’t the right time to delve into guardianship matters. Instead I drop the subject and say, “So it wasn’t Jane?”
“No. It wasn’t Jane. And I know Jane would never do that. But stranger things have happened I think the only people I fully trust in this world are you and Daphne. But I guess I’m lucky to have two, huh?”
A scene from Hannah and Her Sisters flashes into my head, which is one of the most disturbing movies I’ve ever seen for that very reason. I simply can’t fathom Daphne or Maura betraying me in such a way. Or Jess for that matter. But to Maura’s point, the list is short.
Maura continues, “So I think that whole initial shock of thinking Scott was with Jane worked in my favor. I mean, I was so unbelievably relieved when I saw that girl’s face and realized it wasn’t Jane after all. It was almost like a small battle victory in the middle of a war you’re losing badly Besides, in a sense, there’s no new information here. We already knew Scott was a disloyal asshole. So I’m just dealing with gradations of that right now. He’s a slightly grander and more consistent asshole than I previously thought.” She laughs.
I smile, impressed at my sister’s ability to keep her sense of humor.
“Have you confronted him?” I say. “Does he know you know?”
“No And let me tell you, it’s really something watching him act all innocent around the house, like Joe Good Husband.” She imitates him: ” ‘Say, Maura, want me to whip up some blueberry pancakes?’”
“Disgusting,” I say, knowing that no matter what happens to my sister’s marriage, I can no longer keep up the pretense of liking Scott.
“Yeah. It really is. But a small part of me also takes perverse pleasure in having the goods on him. It’s like I got the last laugh, you know? It’s like, ‘Who’s the fool now?’”
“So, what next?” I say.
“I haven’t decided on strategy. I don’t want to act impulsively. What do you think of giving him a chance to come clean and confess?”
“You mean, tell him that you suspect that something is going on and see if he fesses up?” I say.
“Yeah. Something like that. You know, without telling him I have proof.”
“Sounds like a good idea,” I say. “And if he confesses?”
She exhales into the phone and says, “I don’t know. More counseling, I guess. Maybe we could apply to be on Dr. Phil .”
I laugh. “You wouldn’t, would you?”
She says, “No! I can’t fathom why people would expose themselves like that. I mean, the worst part about this is probably the humiliation.”
I think to myself that if the humiliation is the worst part about this then she really doesn’t love Scott anymore. I ask her if she does.
“Oh, shit, I don’t know,” she says. “I’m so far beyond that analysis. I mean, I guess I love the man I thought he was. Or the man he used to be. And occasionally, I still have a faint glimmer of love for him when I see him with the kids. He’s a great father, if you can be a great father when you’re doing this to your family”