When I finally came back down to earth, I could feel myself shaking. The orgasm had taken everything out of me, completely. Kiegan thrust into me again, and a couple minutes later his breathing became more ragged and he came inside of me with a few small grunts.
As I came back down to earth and the full gravity of what I’d just done started to become a reality, I felt a huge shame course through me. Not only had I just had sex with my stepbrother, but I hated him! No matter how much I was attracted to him, I still wanted to punch him in the face regularly.
Oh my God, how could you do this? I asked myself. I could feel the crimson color my face had turned. Kiegan was just going around, putting his clothes back on like nothing had happened. I quickly scrambled to put mine back on.
“What’s the rush?” Kiegan asked me, a lock of hair falling across his forehead, that familiar grin on his face as he zipped up his pants.
“This was a mistake.”
“What? Why?”
“We can’t have done this. You’re my brother. Oh my God, what have I done?”
I buttoned my shirt up, stumbling over some of the buttons in my haste to do them up as quickly as possible. I was going back to the hotel, and I was going to have a long, hot shower. Then I was going to do my best to forget that I had ever done this. I was about to leave the room when Kiegan called out to me.
“Hey, sis?”
“Don’t call me that,” I replied, stopping with the door open and turning to him.
“Happy birthday,” he said, with that same stupid grin on his face. I turned and left, the grab bag of emotions running through me about to spill over.
*
As I stood in the shower, letting the water, as hot as I could stand, pour over me I thought about what Kiegan and I had just done. And I thought about my reaction. My body’s reaction. I had known it was wrong. I had known the whole time that I shouldn’t have done it, that I should have said no. So why didn’t I? Why did I let Kiegan Hunt take me right there in the helicopter company’s locker room? Was it just to fulfill a fantasy I’d gone through for years? It had to be.
Still, I was angry at myself. I should have had more self-control. This was obviously going to make everything more complicated. After all, I still hated the guy. And I still worked for him. And we were still family.
Could you have possibly picked a worse person to have a quickie with? No, of course not. Having sex with the Queen of England would have been less complicated than this.
Eventually I got out of the shower, towelled myself off and went onto the balcony wearing my plush hotel bathrobe. The sounds of sea birds cut through the air, over the sounds of cars and people down below. What was I going to do? I had absolutely no idea.
What I did know was that I had planned for Kiegan to make an appearance at one of the big clubs in Miami, Pitbull was going to be DJing that night, and anyone who was anyone was going to be there. Unfortunately, that meant I had to be there too, to handle the introductions.
Meet in the lobby at 11 to go to the club I texted Kiegan. Maybe if I tried to ignore that we had ever had sex at all, I could pretend it had never happened.
I looked at my watch. It was just after four in the afternoon. This was going to be a big night; I probably wasn’t going to get to bed until at least three in the morning. I decided to nap for a couple of hours before I had to meet Kiegan again.
Lying down in the plush bed, as soon as I closed my eyes my mind drifted back to what I’d just done with my brother a couple of hours earlier. The feeling of his hands on my body, of his mouth on my breast. The sensations that ran through me as he pounded in and out of me, with an urgency I’d never felt before.
I instantly began to feel my body reacting again. I felt that familiar tug in my nether regions, felt the juices beginning to form inside of me, my body wanting more.
Stop it. Stop it, stop it, stop it, I scolded myself. There was absolutely no way I was going to go down this rabbit hole.
Sure, I had enjoyed it. There was no mistaking that, I couldn’t deny that to myself if I tried. But that didn’t mean it wasn’t a mistake. It didn’t mean I couldn’t do my best to forget that it had happened completely. I fell asleep trying to force the memories of my brother out of my head.
When I finally woke up a couple hours later, I ordered room service and watched an old episode of Arrested Development that was on TV while I waited for the time to pass, then quickly changed the channel as soon as the George Michael and Maebe stuff started happening. The kissing cousins was hitting way too close to home for me right now.