And in that moment, Mia had realized just how much she cared about Jackson. So deeply that she’d assaulted someone for him.
Somehow, over these last three months, she’d fallen for the man without even realizing it.
And that was the most terrifying thing of all.
“C’mon, let’s go home.” Jackson’s warm hands cupped her chin, his thumbs sweeping away the tears staining her face.
She nodded weakly, allowing him to take her hand and lead her to his father’s truck.
The drive back to the Double R was a quiet one. Mia battled tears the whole time, unable to get a grip on the distressing emotions roiling in her belly.
She’d punched another person.
She loved Jackson.
The two thoughts tangled together and ravaged her tired brain, but she refused to give them the attention they demanded. She didn’t want to think about how guilty she felt about the former, or how confused and scared the latter made her.
When Jackson finally pulled into the ranch driveway, relief crashed into her and had her diving out of the pickup. All she wanted to do right now was lock herself in Jackson’s bedroom and bury her head under the covers. She didn’t want to think. Didn’t want to feel. She would simply sleep, and then tomorrow she’d be back in San Diego, where she’d sift through her thoughts and emotions, and hopefully be able to make sense of them.
“Mia, wait.”
His gruff voice stopped her when she was halfway to the porch.
“Do you mind being alone for a little while?” he asked, his worried eyes probing her face. “I’m gonna drive out to Shane and Tiff’s place.”
She blinked in surprise. “What for?”
“I think it’s time my brother and I had that talk we’ve been trying to avoid.”
“That’s probably a good idea.” She bit her lip. “Can you…will you apologize to Tiffany again? I feel so awful about what happened, I really do, Jackson.”
“I know you do, sugar.”
His long strides ate up the distance between them, and then he was kissing her, his lips warm and reassuring.
“Go upstairs and get ready for bed, darlin’. I’ll be back soon, okay?”
She swallowed. “Okay.”
With a sweet smile, he left her on the porch and headed back to the truck. Mia watched until his taillights disappeared in the darkness, then took a breath and walked into the house.
She knew Evie had gone out after dinner with some friends, but Jackson’s parents had come straight home. As Mia entered the front hall, she prayed that Kurt and Arlene had already retired for the night. She didn’t have the energy or the brain capacity to maintain a pleasant conversation, and she suspected that if either of Jackson’s parents saw her face, they’d immediately know that something terrible had happened tonight.
Mia quietly slipped out of her sneakers and took a hesitant step toward the hallway. Luckily, the kitchen was dark, which told her Arlene wasn’t doing any late-night baking or anything, but up ahead, light spilled out from the living-room doorway.
She tiptoed toward it and hoped that if Jackson’s parents were inside, they wouldn’t spot her. When she neared the doorway, however, she realized there’d been no reason to worry. Kurt and Arlene were in the living room, all right, but they were sound asleep on the couch.
Her heart jumped to her throat as she stared at the sleeping couple. Kurt was on his back with one arm propped behind his head, the other wrapped tightly around Arlene, who was nestled at his side. The older couple looked so peaceful lying there that Mia almost started crying again.
Something happened to her as she stood there staring.
She suddenly wanted…
She wanted forever, damn it.
But forever didn’t exist.
Yes, it does. You’re looking at it right now.
But maybe this was a fluke. Maybe Kurt and Arlene’s loving and long-lasting relationship was a gift for them, and them alone.
You can have it too. With Jackson.
But…could she? Her own mother had tried to find true love ten times—and she’d gotten ten divorces out of it. What if Mia was destined for the same?
Fear and turmoil clogged her throat. She’d avoided serious relationships her entire life. Shied away from forming any attachments in order to avoid getting her heart broken. But was she right to be scared? Or were her fears simply a knee-jerk reaction to watching her mother’s life shatter every other year?
God, she couldn’t think about any of this right now.
Her gaze darted back to Jackson’s parents, and a rush of panic swarmed her belly. She had to leave. Had to go home. Now.
The anxiety attack came so fast and so unexpectedly that Mia couldn’t think straight. All she knew was that she couldn’t stay in this house. She couldn’t face Jackson’s family after what she’d done to Tiffany. She couldn’t face Jackson. Not tonight. Not when her heart was trying to pound its way out of her chest and her lungs refused to accept the oxygen she was gulping in. Not when her mind was a jumbled mess and her emotions were so out of control she feared she might actually pass out.