‘Well, would you like to share with me what it is?’ Alex’s tone was sarcastic but Luke didn’t appear to pick up on it.
‘His scrapbook.’ Luke didn’t say anymore, as if he was testing the water, and Alex was suspicious as a result. He’d seen Will’s scrapbook a couple of times, full of newspapers cuttings of stories he’d found intriguing, almost half the book given over to the local press coverage of Emily Barratt’s death and the fruitless search for the driver who’d killed her.
Alex shrugged now and said, ‘Maybe he threw it away.’
‘No.’ Luke shook his head emphatically. ‘He would never have thrown it away. And I saw it, the day before I went away, or two days before. It was taken.’
‘What was in the scrapbook?’
‘I don’t know.’ He was lying. ‘All I know is someone killed Will, and the same person took it, but Will never told me anything about it. I don’t know anything.’
Alex had been wondering whether this was going to turn into an opportunist attempt at blackmail. Luke was scared though, a fear that suggested he did know what was in the book, perhaps even that Will had told him about it. And now he was scared, the paranoia of someone who smoked too much dope.
Alex smiled sympathetically and said, ‘This must’ve been really upsetting. I know he was my friend too but I haven’t had much contact with him in the last few years. I’m glad he was getting his life together again.’
Now that he’d said it he realized how inappropriate it sounded but Luke gave a little dignified nod like someone accepting condolences and said, ‘He was a good person, one of the best people I ever knew. It just isn’t fair, and I know life isn’t fair but that doesn’t make it any easier that this isn’t fair.’ Alex didn’t say anything, not wanting to intrude on the his grief. Luke paused too, as if looking for something positive to say. Finally he said, ‘I dream about him, you know, nearly every night. I speak to him, and he knows he’s dead. He’s okay about it but at the end of each dream he says the same thing. He says “You won’t forget me, will you Luke?” And I tell him not to worry, because I’ll never forget him.’
Finally they were onto ground where Alex felt he could contribute something.
‘You know, it’s quite normal to dream conversations with the dead. Your mind has all this space set aside for someone who no longer exists. Dreaming offers a natural outlet.’
Luke smiled and said, ‘It’s what you do, isn’t it? You study sleep? Sleep disturbances. Will told me a lot about it.’
‘Yeah, it’s what I do.’
‘Well, it’s kind of you to try and comfort me but I don’t need it. He comes to me in my dreams.’
‘Then maybe you should get him to tell you who killed him.’ The words were out and Alex couldn’t believe he’d said them, couldn’t believe the lack of professionalism, the flip cruelty of it. ‘God, I’m sorry, that was an appalling thing to say; I don’t know what I was thinking.’
‘It’s okay, I understand. This must have been a shock for you, too.’ Even so, Luke finished his tea with a couple of long gulps now and added, ‘I should go.’
Alex looked at his watch and said, ‘Do you have somewhere to go? I mean, you’re welcome to stay here if you’d like. The spare room’s full of junk but you’re welcome to crash on the sofa.’ It seemed strange making an offer like that, as strange as if he’d invited the homeless girl back with him, but Luke looked uncomfortable anyway.
‘No really, thanks and everything, but I’ll be fine.’ He looked swiftly around the room as though the thought of staying in that house unnerved him. ‘Best that I make a move.’
He stood up but Alex stood with him and said, ‘What is it? You can tell me. Something about this house?’
He smiled apologetically and said, ‘You’re a scientist but I’m not, you know. You’re okay with this place, I can see that, and it’s cool. I just know I couldn’t stay here. There’s a vibe, that’s all.’
Alex produced a knee-jerk laugh and said, ‘If there are any bad vibes in this place they’re probably coming off me.’
‘No,’ said Luke, earnest and insistent, putting his hand out to shake Alex’s. ‘No, you’re good, and thanks for your kindness. I meant no disrespect.’
‘You didn’t show any.’
Luke looked around again, as if confirming his suspicions about the house and its bad vibe, whatever it was. When his gaze came back to Alex he said, ‘I hope we’ll meet again sometime.’ It was a new age sentiment, something he probably said to everyone he met.
‘Sure,’ said Alex and walked out to the door with him.