Callum had tried to dismiss him as a guilt-stricken father. He had heard that Hugh was still not walking, and faced months of rehabilitation. Of course Mike was upset. However, Callum couldn’t help but get the maps out himself and take another look. There was a possible way down to the place Hugh had fallen, and Callum had found himself walking up there the following week and taking that route. It took fifteen minutes to locate the spot after a steep scramble. Could he have tried to reach Hugh himself? Should he have left the others to haul Mike off the ledge? Callum had been distracted by Mike’s predicament – had that stopped him thinking clearly about the boy?
He told no one at first. Until Mike McCallister turned up again a few days later, with another chart, demanding to know why the edge of the crag held no warning markers, as there were on other Lakeland paths. Callum had a quicker answer this time, and directed him towards the Lakes Authority, but once Mike left he had sat in his office, staring at the walls, going over everything again, angry with himself for feeling needled.
That night, Danielle had come in from the kit room.
‘Was that Mike McCallister?’
Callum couldn’t stop studying the maps on the wall. He was still thinking through the rescue, and the implications of a second visit from Mike McCallister. He had a feeling it wouldn’t be the last.
‘Yes. Yes, it was.’
‘So, what did he want?’ she had asked, propping herself against the desk.
‘He’s replaying the rescue. He wants to know that we did everything we could. It’s understandable.’ He didn’t want to tell her that he had been worried enough to re-walk the route. That Mike’s comments about another way down had left him rattled.
‘Don’t let him get to you. You did everything you could at the time. You always do.’ Her hand came to rest on top of his, giving it a gentle squeeze.
He had looked up, found her eyes, and there had been a protracted pause where they stayed that way, hands connected, before she moved and jumped off the desk.
‘Tell me what he said,’ she asked, inspecting the map of Bowfell.
‘He thinks I could have reached Hugh, maybe had a chance to do first aid so he didn’t move around with his injuries – although even then I’m not sure we would have made much difference.’ Callum outlined the route on the map with his finger. ‘He might be right. It takes fifteen minutes. The chopper took thirty.’
‘The chopper took thirty from the first radio call,’ Danielle said. ‘You know exactly where Hugh was now, but you didn’t then. Mike was distressed and needed rescuing himself. Would you take your eyes off one casualty to climb down to find the other? You had a responsibility to both of them. You didn’t know Hugh’s condition. You did the right thing.’
They went over it a couple more times. ‘We’ve checked the facts now, so don’t give yourself a hard time, Cal,’ Danielle had said as she left the room. He had watched her leave, grateful for her words, appreciating her slim silhouette and those tight-fitting jeans she wore.
That night he had gone home feeling hugely comforted by a woman he barely knew and got into bed next to his softly snoring wife. It had been the beginning of the bond between him and Danielle – he began to talk to her more, and he found that once he got stuff off his chest with her he no longer needed to talk to Anya.
During the course of last year, he realises now, staring grimly through the windscreen, he has completely shut his wife out. He remembers the way he had spoken to Anya last night, shaking her awake to confront her. He had been angry with her because it was easier than acknowledging the fury he felt towards himself. He spent all his spare time helping people in dire straits, but when his own family needed him, he hadn’t been there.
‘Will Zac be home when we get there?’ Maddie asks, interrupting his thoughts. At least ten minutes have passed since they set off, but his niece is still busy texting next to him as she speaks.
‘I should imagine so, once school’s finished,’ Callum says. He’s not really listening. His penitent thoughts about Anya have led him back a few hours. He’s trying and failing to push away the last flickering, taunting image of Danielle. He’s trying not to hear the threat in those final words. This isn’t over yet, Callum.
‘He hasn’t been answering his phone today.’ Maddie is cutting into his worries again. She sounds put out.
‘He went to school, Maddie,’ he says, struggling to hide his impatience. ‘You’re not allowed your phones there, are you?’
She doesn’t seem to notice his tone. ‘No, but he usually texts.’ She shrugs. ‘Not that it matters.’
Callum doesn’t think he believes her, but then again he has lost track of the kids’ relationships. Only a few years ago they had been such simple little souls, with their energetic rough-and-tumble, and their enthusiasm for one another. All their childhood hurts were deeply felt in the moment and yet were easily overcome. Now, any conversation he overhears seems so serious, so intense. God he misses those innocent, gone-forever kids.