“Get on up here, girl. I think it’s going to be soon,” Trish said to me.
Dale and Nate came walking up just as the mare began straining harder. She was lying on her side and we could see that she was delivering the placenta and not the foal.
“Shit!” Dale yelled. “Nate, get my bag and get back in here. We have to help her.”
Nate left and returned quickly with Dale’s medical bag. Both men rushed into the stall to assess the situation. “What do we have to do?” Nate asked.
“We have to cut the placenta and help deliver the foal.” Dale threw Nate a pair of long gloves, which we were all familiar with except for Nate. “Put those on.” Nate eyed them warily. I’m not sure his vacation plans involved reaching up inside of a writhing horse and pulling a foal out but he followed Dale’s orders with diligence and before long that was exactly what he was doing. Dale cut the placenta and maneuvered the horse by pushing on her belly. Nate reached in and pulled the front legs, bringing the foal’s head with it. After a few short moments he dragged the slimy creature toward the mare’s head. Nate instinctively knew to pull the placenta away from the foal’s mouth and nose. It came away like cellophane.
When the baby attempted to stand on her shaky front legs, everyone let out a huge sigh of relief. After lifting the foal’s back legs, Nate raised his hands in triumph and announced, “It’s a girl!” He was smiling with such joy that it made me smile, too. Trish actually cried happy tears.
“You did good, Nate,” I said.
Everyone turned and looked at me and then Dale said, “You’re right, Ava, he did good.”
We watched the mare clean up her foal and then the moment came when the sweet little baby finally stood on all four legs and took her first steps. We were all leaning over the corral, squinting through the bright sun coming up over the intimidating mountain peaks in the distance. “So precious,” Trish said under her breath. The vision made me feel alive, at least in that moment, and that was more than I had felt in a long time. I knew Trish was so moved by the births of the animals because she could never experience it herself, which saddened me.
Nate watched in awe as the tiny horse very quickly learned how to walk and then run. When she went to feed from her mother, we all turned toward the house. Each one of us was exhausted except for Nate, who looked thrilled.
He came up next to me. “That was amazing.”
“Wasn’t it?”
“Yeah,” he said as he continued walking with me toward the cabin.
I stopped and looked over at him. “Where are you going?”
His smile was shy for the first time. “I was going to walk you back.”
“Oh. You don’t have to do that.”
“I want to.”
“I’m probably going to take a nap; I have a lesson at three.”
We continued walking. “Thanks for telling Dale to come and get me.”
“He might have anyway. What did he tell you exactly?”
Approaching the door to my cabin, Nate stopped and smirked. “He said you didn’t want me to miss it.” His eyes squinted slightly. It was that look that made me feel like he was searching for a way past some invisible force field that protected my soul.
“It’s true. I didn’t want you to miss it. It’s amazing to see that in real life.”
“You’re amazing,” he said in a low voice.
My fingers were tingling. Heat began spreading from the center of my body out to my limbs. I took a hurried breath. He looked down between us at our feet and then reached for my hand. He brought it to his mouth and, without looking up, he kissed it like some chivalrous fifteenth-century knight paying respect to his queen.
He looked up and shook his head. “I’m not this guy. You make me feel . . .” He searched for the words. “You make me feel. That’s it. I haven’t felt anything for anyone like this.”
“What do you feel?”
“I feel like I want to be around you all the time and . . . I just . . . I’ve been thinking a lot lately.”
“About what?”
“About your mouth.”
Before I knew what was happening, I kissed him instantly. He responded equally fast, returning the kiss and pressing me hard against the door to the cabin. Gripping the back of my neck with one hand and moving the other to my hip, he closed any empty space left between us. His lips were soft but his motions were urgent. I let myself forget for just a little while about all of the pain. His mouth moved to my jawline and kissed a trail to my ear. His warm, rough skin sent shivers down to my core.
We were both breathing hard. His mouth went to mine again and that’s when it hit me. Jake was lying in a grave, rotting, because of me, and I was making out with a doctor on our porch. I pushed him away, almost angrily.
He looked hurt. “I need more,” he said, breathing heavily.
“You can never do that again.”