Not that she believed in forever anymore.
Khristos clucked his tongue. “First lesson, and it’s a hard-and-fast rule. Never use the ‘D’ word. Aphrodite creates true mates for life.”
“You sound like an infomercial. Next you’ll show me how to cook an entire chicken in under ten minutes while you Oxy Clean my whites.”
He chuckled, low, deep, husky. “Matchmaking is nothing like cooking chickens, but it is a delicate matter, Quinn.”
She gaped at him. “Clearly, because your gods decided it was a smart idea to leave all the power of the most famous goddess ever in an apple in the Parthenon where just about anyone could get their hands on it. It’s obviously ultra-delicate.”
“And here we go,” Nina cooed to Buffy, one of Quinn’s late-night alleyway rescues from a Dumpster.
Quinn cocked her head in Nina’s direction, and she almost didn’t care if she bit it right off. “What is that supposed to mean?”
Nina’s eyes narrowed, glittering and fierce. “It means you’re finally hitting the grief crap. You know, the five-stages thing? Whining, crying, anger—which is usually first. I don’t know. It’s some bullshite Marty and Wanda feed everybody while they’re going through the change. We have a pamphlet on it. But they never give it to anyone—because that makes sense, and who the hell would wanna make sense when they can jump into your personal crap feet first and wallow in it with you?”
Quinn frowned, not understanding.
Nina rolled her eyes. “It means any second now, you’re gonna be a motherfluffin’ train wreck.” She looked down at Spike and grinned. “But don’t worry, little man. I’ll protect you from your crazyface mother.”
Was she any of those things? She hadn’t stopped to think about ramifications and everything that went with biting the apple. What were the ramifications, anyway?
What Khristos had said back at the Parthenon made no sense. How could he help her be the Goddess of Love when, if history served her correctly, the Goddess of Love didn’t do much but create havoc and make men fall in love with her?
Was that a job? Would she now be a savvy player in the game of love? Because hold the phone. That could mean Bradley Cooper, her Mr. Darcy in her mind, was ripe for the picking. Why stop there? Why not have a whole passel of hunks? The Avengers, perhaps—or a Thor-Loki-RDJ triple-decker sammie?
Squee.
Quinn reared upward, putting a hand on Khristos’s shoulder and moving him for a clearer view of Nina, gritting her teeth at how firm he was beneath her palm. “But I feel fine.”
“But you won’t once the crazy starts. So save it, Glow Stick, and get the frick on with it so we can move to the next phase. I have a gazillion things I’d rather be doing. Like watching paint dry or having my fingernails pulled off one by stinkin’ one.”
Wanda zipped into the room, scooping up Spike and shaking a finger at Nina with a scowl. “What Nina means to say is, there will be phases to this change, Quinn. Phases we’re quite sensitive to, and happy to help you through. That’s what we do as paranormal crisis counselors.”
Nina shook her head, the dark curtain of her silky hair brushing her pale cheek. “That wasn’t what the flip I meant to say at all, Wanda. What I meant to say, and I’m always happy to make crap clear—”
Wanda smooshed Nina’s lips together with two pink-tipped fingers. “But it is what you meant to say, Vampire. In fact, that’s all you’re going to say until I tell you to say something. Remember how you were working on not swearing because it’s unhealthy for little Charlie? Work harder.”
Quinn was baffled. “Who’s Charlie?”
Wanda’s face broke into a beaming smile as she continued to hold Nina’s lips together. “Nina’s little girl.”
“You have children?” Okay, so to be fair, it shot out of her mouth before she had the chance to stop it, but she prayed for some slack from Nina—or at least only a light punch to the throat.
Ingrid clamped a hand over Quinn’s mouth, too. “I’d stop now if you value your guts staying on the inside.”
Quinn instantly backed off, brushing Ingrid’s hand away. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know vampires could have children. It caught me off guard.”
Wanda nodded with a curt bounce of her elegantly coiffed head. “And Nina accepts your apology, don’t you?”
Nina swatted Wanda’s hands away and growled, flashing her fangs.
Oh, cheese and rice. Her. Fangs.
And then Wanda leaned in close and growled back an order. “Nod your head or I’ll rip it clean off. Understood?”
Nina obediently nodded her head, but she didn’t like it, if the flare of her nostrils and her clenched fists were any indication.