“You only did what you thought best, Mistress.”
Ester cupped her cheek and managed a small smile. “You are precious, my daughter. You deserve better than this. Cleopas demanded Jason wed you, but he refused. He also would not give you up. So my husband has given you to him. According to our law, that makes you his wife in action, if not on paper. According to Roman tradition, it also makes him free to give you back to me when–when he wishes it.”
Abigail tilted her chin up. “If my master has chosen this course, then I trust it is best. I will honor your son as my husband, and I will serve him faithfully in all he asks. What he calls me will not affect that.”
Ester nodded.“And Andrew?”
“He told me this morning why you were looking for me. He said he still wishes to have me as his wife when Jason tires of me.” Meeting Ester’s gaze, she added, “This is what I wish, too. I love Andrew, and I want to remain at your side.”
Ester nodded, but her eyes were still clouded. “Will you sing to me?” She moved to her couch and reclined, closing her eyes, while Abigail got out her lute and began a psalm.
“‘To you I will cry, O lord my Rock:
Do not be silent to me.
Lest, if You are silent to me,
I become like those who go down to the pit.
Hear the voice of my supplications
When I cry to you,
When I lift up my hands toward Your holy sanctuary.’”
Her voice was pure and true, but the words were only words in her ears. She sang the song because she knew Ester liked it and would appreciate it, but it was in her mind alone and did not come from her heart. Even as she uttered the words, she knew she would not cry out to the Lord. He was silent to her. She was not David. She was not any man. She was just a slave woman, and exactly what that meant had been demonstrated today yet again. She could be given, she could be refused, she could be dishonored without consequence, all because her master crooked a finger.
Well, so be it. She had been left with at least one thing she loved: Ester. And Ester she would continue to serve with a whole heart.
She moved from one psalm into another, singing of supplication, praise, and prayer. Then after an hour Ester held up a hand. “I will take some camomile, my child. And have Dinah prepare me some food.”
With a respectful nod, Abigail put down her instrument and went to the kitchen, but she did not miss the way Ester blinked back tears as she left. Dinah was busy as always, but she halted her work the moment Abigail entered and came to wrap her arms around her.
“I heard. I wish you had told me. I thought you were just going through moods, when really you were going through a terrible trial. Are you all right, my friend? Do you need anything?”
Abigail smiled and pulled away. “Camomile for the mistress. And she wishes breakfast.”
Dinah scowled. “That is not what I meant.”
“I know.” Abigail put a hand on Dinah’s cheek. “I am fine, Dinah, thank you.”
Dinah nodded. “We are out of camomile.”
“Then I will get some.” She drew in a deep breath and wasted no time, but grabbed a few coins and headed for the door.
*
Jason wished not for the first time that Menelaus, rather than Titus, had the same schedule he did. This was not one of the days when he was in the mood to listen to the Roman’s arrogance; and what was more, Titus always seemed to pick up on his moods and force the reasons out of him, and he also did not want to talk about it. Not with Titus. But Titus was the only one around, was indeed waiting for him at the edge of the markets when Jason finally wandered in that direction.
After storming from his parents’ house, he had wandered around for a while with no goal, then had rendezvoused with the merchant in Caius’s employ to receive his monthly allotment and give the latest news on Titus–not that there was much.
Though it was another reason Jason did not desire his company that day. He always felt slightly guilty for spying on his friend, even if he did never have much to share.
They met on the fringes of the marketplace, and Titus nodded a greeting. Jason returned it and hoped that his friend would be uncharacteristically oblivious today.
Naturally, the first thing Titus said was, “I saw your father this morning. He looked to be in a rage over something. Trouble at home, my friend?”
Jason sighed and debated for a moment how much he should say. He decided it would save them both much time and effort if he just admitted the situation now. Not looking at him, he replied, “He and my mother discovered this morning that I had taken Abigail.”
Titus let out a laugh that at first irritated him, but then strangely made him relax. “They only just found out? Amazing! I assume they did not approve?”