But he certainly had enough respect for his late friend to honor her period of mourning, and that would guarantee the chastity of even his thoughts for the next fortnight. Luckily, she would be leaving soon after that.
His brow furrowed. Traveling back to Israel would be no easier than traveling to Rome would have been, and this time he could not go with her. He would have to find someone to accompany her; someone huge, intimidating, strong. . . and a eunuch.
*
The day was bright and warm, the sky an unbroken azure spreading out above them in a peaceful canopy, the land a brilliant green rivaling an emerald in its clarity. Outside the city, nature’s smells predominated, the scents of civilization receding and being replaced by that of fresh growth, damp earth, clean air, and promise. It was a day for breathing in with joy and exhaling in contemplation. It was a day to relax, to marvel at the beauty in this world God had fashioned.
But Abigail could not calm the nerves in her stomach long enough to appreciate it. It was her fourth day in Rome, and they were heading out to the Visibullis estates to meet with Arminius and discuss the necessary legal moves. She was terrified. She knew not what she would do if they questioned the truth of her claim.
Titus’s presence beside her was her one anchor. Even now he gave her a soft smile of encouragement and reached over to rest his hand on hers, cradling Benjamin’s head. His thumb brushed through the downy locks of the baby, who gave a toothless grin that made Titus’s lips turn up even more.
“I hope Samuel is having fun,” Abigail said on a sigh, wishing the sensitive child were with her now to offer his innocent smile and his simplistic wisdom.
Titus shifted his smile from Benjamin to her. “I am certain of it. Antonia will keep a close eye on him, but he will enjoy the markets. You would too. I shall have to take you out into the city soon, Abigail, you have been closeted up in the house since your arrival.”
Abigail smiled in contentment. “I have yet to get the fill of your library. I began Epictetus’s Discourses yesterday before you arrived home.”
“Ah, one of the founding texts of Roman thought. And what do you think of our State’s philosophies?”
Abigail shrugged as she considered. “I agree with some of the tenets, I admit. The idea of a sphere of choice strikes me as true in many ways; that there are simply things I cannot influence, and it is needless to worry about them. But what Stoicism does not seem to take into account is that emotions simply exist. And that they have profound effects. Perhaps I cannot control you, but does that mean that a heartfelt appeal would evoke no response that would allow you, with your larger sphere of choice, to make decisions to affect what I would will? I think not. I think the human heart, and the human condition, is much more than a collection of individual’s spheres. I think we are all bound together by something far deeper than circumstance.”
“Christ did teach, according to Tabitha, that we should go out of our way to help those who need it, acting on faith that others would do the same for us. He preached love above all, and that does indeed seem to reach far outside the walls Stoicism forces us to erect.” He sighed. “But I have been a Stoic forever, it seems. I was brought up with those precepts, raised to be a statuesque pillar unable to be bent by the winds of trial.”
She tamped down her smile “And you did it very well. You not only kept your distance, you forced everyone else to keep theirs. But were you stronger then, Titus, or are you stronger now that you bent your knee to a higher authority and admitted that God’s sphere of influence is all-encompassing? That he can affect what we cannot, but that through prayer and our Savior’s sacrifice, we have achieved the ear of that omnipotent God?”
“Your rhetoric is flawless, my friend. I readily admit that you are right.” He glanced at the countryside, then lifted a brow her way. “But one thing you would do well to glean from Epictetus’s philosophies: there is no point in getting nervous about a situation such as the one we are approaching. The truth is well outside your control, and it will speak for itself. Be calm.”
Abigail drew in a deep breath in an attempt to obey. She cast her eyes around her as she exhaled, able to appreciate even through her nervousness that the land they were driving over was beautiful. The foliage was lush, the air sweet with spring, the sun bright and warm upon her. “Are we close?”
Titus nodded, pointing toward a grove of trees. “Beyond that copse is the villa. It is a lovely place, Abigail; the Visibullises have long been a respected family in Rome. Cleopas’s father, I believe, had a falling out with Augustus, but up until then they were among the leading families.” He grinned. “There was a day not so long ago when they were above the Asiniuses, I know. This estate reflects that. My father would kill for such property.”
Abigail arched her brows in consternation. “I hope you exaggerate, my friend.”