“I’m not into her like that.”
“Ben …” she stops and her voice softens even as her disappointment in me is evident. I love my sister, but not enough to date a woman I’m not interested in. “This isn’t about Drew is it? Did you freak because Karen’s aunt has cancer?”
It sucks how much she knows me.
“I didn’t freak.” I take another swallow of my Lagavulin. “I’m just not into her. No reason to meet her family when I’m never going to put a ring on her finger.”
She’s probably crossed her arms by now and is most likely tapping her foot in impatience. I’m no coward, but I’m glad we’re on the phone.
“I don’t believe you.”
“You don’t have to,” I snap.
She says nothing for several seconds. “Mom’s going to be pissed. She likes her. She sees the two of you making little Ben babies together.”
I groan. Mom has been on the baby hunt lately.
“You make Jenna babies because Karen’s not the one. I’m not in love with her. Not even close.”
Jenna sighs. “Ben, I love you. Hell, I love Cate too. And I loved Drew. But if you both don’t snap out of it, you might as well have died with him.”
If anyone else had said that, I would have hung up or hurled several curse words because what she said is like a slap across my face.
“I know.” I barely choke out the words.
“Maybe you should talk to someone, a therapist.”
A therapist. I can almost feel Drew standing there in agreement with my sister. He would have choice words for me if he was here. But that’s the point. He’s not. And he should be. I close my eyes feeling his loss as if it happened yesterday.
“I don’t know. Maybe.” She sighs like she’s won. “Anyway, it’s better this way. I’m no good for anyone. I’ll never be Drew.”
“Ben—”
“Stop, Jenna. Don’t set me up with any more of your friends unless they want to be fucked.” I mean that in more ways than one. “That’s all I have to give.”
“Ben—”
“I’m serious.”
My sister, the queen of words, is quiet. “Okay,” she says, and I know she gets it. “I won’t fix you up anymore.”
“Good, I never asked you to in the first place.”
By the time we end the call, I’m restless. I get up from my chair and walk over to the bottle of Lagavulin on the counter. Pouring myself a double, I realize I can’t call Drew and ask him to come over to process all this. I swallow down the liquid thinking what a shit life I have.
My mind wanders to beautiful Cate. She’s just as alone as I am. Maybe … that thought dies a sudden death in my mind because she’s like my little sister, which makes me shudder, not to mention I doubt that’s what Drew had in mind when he asked me to watch over her.
With that weird idea cleansed from my mind, I head to the shower to wash away the reek of Karen. Passing through my bedroom, I make a quick decision to strip the sheets off the bed to get rid of every trace of her. The act will shock the shit out of my cleaning lady.
After my shower, I call Mark, a guy from work, to see if he’s up for hanging out. Maybe poker or heading to a bar will help me forget everything, including the fucking C word, cancer.
When he doesn’t answer, I assume his ex is back, giving him grief. I flip on the TV and end up watching the Dark Knight for the millionth time. Only Drew’s there in the back of my head giving me shit about my choices. He wouldn’t have approved how I handled Karen. “Then you should be here to kick my ass,” I say to the empty room.
The next morning, I crawl out of bed before the crack of dawn to hustle into work. I make it there before the sun has made an appearance, and the office is hopping as I’m not the first one in. Gratefully I’m not the last, either. However, I haven’t beaten the old man, my father himself, which has been a goal of mine for some time.
Jeff, my co-worker, spots me as he steps out from the kitchen area. He slings an arm around my shoulders.
“The Money Man’s in the house,” he announces, getting people to look up from their work stations like I’m some kind of rock star. He leans into me conspiratorially as we pass the cubical pool of first-year recruits and more quietly, but not so much, says, “Ben, my man, it’s Friday. Don’t make plans for the night. We’re taking Mark out to get laid. His wife—”
“Soon to be ex-wife,” I counter. I don’t know why I bother. Mark doesn’t seem to want to let her go.