“Wow.” I expel my breath. I’m not even sure what to think. I had no idea he cheated on me and now here he is, spilling his guts. Has Trevor gone up or down in my do not trust scale? “I honestly don’t know what to say. I’m shocked and disappointed, I suppose.”
“Don’t say anything. At least not tonight. I wanted to come clean with you because I want us to have a fresh start. I don’t pound the liquor like I used to. I’m in control of things now. I realize I have what could be a huge business at stake, not to mention you. I’m not some young idiot running around anymore. I’m sure you don’t believe that, but I think on some business level you can relate to what I’m saying. I have a reputation to uphold, and I don’t mean the kind with women. I really do want to start on a clean slate with you.”
We sip coffee over dessert and he tries his best to tell me he’s turned over a new leaf. Perhaps he has. For a moment here, I think he’s matured, like he claims he has, but then he springs all that other stuff on me and now I’m wondering about him again. It still stings a bit to know that while we were together, he slept with other women. I’m only half listening to him, because I’m stuck on those words. So that one kiss wasn’t a drunken moment but rather a part of a string of infidelities. I’m struggling here, trying to take it all in.
“So, how about heading around the corner for another drink?”
“I guess we could do that.” Even though after his confession I’m honestly not into it, I find myself agreeing to go. Once again, pushover Sam allows herself to be dragged into something she really isn’t interested in. We leave and head to one of the livelier places on East Bay Street. Downtown is crowded this time of night on a Friday. People are everywhere, ducking in and out of restaurants, trying to get tables without reservations, and going to clubs. Trevor and I slip into a club and meander through the crowd until we reach the bar. He orders us drinks and we hang out for a while. As the time wears on, his behavior becomes less friendly and more flirtatious.
He takes his hand and pushes my hair off my shoulder. “I’ve always loved your hair, Sam.” Then he leans in and kisses my neck.
Whoa. I’m not ready for this. “Trevor, I thought we were testing the friendship waters.”
“I know, but you make it difficult.”
“Me? How so?”
“You’re so beautiful I find it hard not to touch you. Come on, let’s go dance.”
He grabs my hand and we end up on the dance floor. The music is loud and for a time, I forget about his confession. But then his hands land on my hips and he pulls me against him. His enthusiasm doesn’t turn me on like it used to. I’m not feeling this at all, so I try to disengage him in a nice way. But he’s become a bit aggressive and his hands move down, cupping my ass. I look up at his face and the glint in his eye does nothing for me. I try to take a step back, but his hands lock down and he holds me in place, grinding his unmistakable erection against me.
“Trevor, let me go.” I have to yell over the music.
He shakes his head as if he can’t hear me or he’s only pretending. I reach behind me and free his hands. When he releases me, he puts his hands on my shoulders and pulls me into him. When I look up, his mouth hits mine. Like the other night, I feel nothing. I squirm out of his kiss.
“What?” Confusion clouds his eyes.
“Really?”
“It’s just a kiss, Sam. You’re overreacting.”
I take a step back from him and say, “Then I’m going to tell you a truth. I still don’t trust you. So if you want to remain friends, you need to slow it down.”
He squeezes his eyes shut. “Damn. I’m already blowing it, aren’t I?”
“If you keep this up, yeah.” We’re still in the middle of the dance floor, standing among a mass of gyrating bodies. Awkward much?
He nods. “Okay, I got it. No kissing. I promise.”
I slant my head, assessing if he’s being honest with me. All I know is I need to get off this dance floor. Moving back toward the bar area, I don’t wait to see if he’s following. I don’t understand. He tells me he screwed around on me while we dated, but he’s turned over a new leaf. Is that supposed to make me feel better all of a sudden?
His voice comes to me from over my shoulder. “I’m sorry. I guess it was a bit too fast, wasn’t it?”
“Look, you just told me how you cheated on me when we were together. I caught you kissing someone and that was bad enough. But now you tell me it was even worse than that and for some reason you believe the slate is wiped clean. Well, it’s not.”
“But, Sam, I’ve changed.”
“Maybe you have. But I don’t know that. I haven’t been around you for the last however many months. And you’re going to have to prove that to me. Kissing and groping me on the dance floor when we just talked over dinner about starting out as friends isn’t the way to go about it with me, Trevor.”