“Sweetheart, I am so sorry to hear that.” Adam’s hand covered her own, a warm reminder that he was there. It held her in the present when her thoughts would normally drift to the past.
That was what a friend could offer, she finally realized. That was what Lee had maybe been offering. Perhaps not long term, but not a lot in her life had lasted for more than a little while.
“Thanks, but it was a long time ago.”
“And you haven’t dated since then?” Adam asked.
Somehow the pity in his eyes wasn’t so horrible now. Maybe it wasn’t pity and she should stop thinking about it that way. Maybe what some people offered was empathy, and that was a gift. Connection. Pain could connect people. When it was shared and understood, maybe friends could help lessen the pain. “Not once.”
He frowned, but his eyes widened questioningly. “Uhm, so if you haven’t dated then I’m going to assume the obvious. Right?”
She could totally guess what the obvious was. “No sex.”
“Oh, honey, that hurts. We need to get you laid.” Adam grinned. He was adorable when he grinned. But he didn’t make her heart pound the way Lee did. Lee had the sweetest dimple. Just one, on the right side of his face.
Stay to the right, love. She’d felt so protected when he’d sheltered her, like he was a bulwark against a world that insisted on intruding.
“I have some friends here I can call,” Adam offered. He put a hand up. “To date. Not to sleep with, unless you want to.”
“I want him.” Lee had been the one to reawaken all her female parts. Even before she’d spoken a word to him, she’d fantasized about him.
Adam frowned. “Are you sure? Because I know this guy who is way nice and doesn’t seem like a douchebag. Seriously, I can have him over here in like twenty minutes. He’ll be so much easier than the angry guy with paint on his jeans.”
But she liked the angry guy with paint on his jeans. “I want him. At the very least I want to find him so I can apologize.”
And see if he might think about kissing her again. Probably not. She’d probably wrecked that, but she had to try. She couldn’t let it go. She would regret it, and she had more than enough to regret in this lifetime.
“Do you have any idea how to find him? You said he was a tourist, right?” Adam asked. “Did he tell you what hotel he was staying at?”
She thought about their lunchtime conversation. He was staying at a friend’s place in Chelsea. That wasn’t helpful. They had talked about all the places they wanted to see. He’d been a bit specific. “He’s going to the Tower of London with a friend of his tomorrow morning.”
He’d invited her along. At the time she’d wondered if it wasn’t one more way to get some mysterious something out of her. It had been an offer of friendship…maybe more.
Adam shoved the veggies into the trash.
“Hey, weren’t you going to use those?”
“I was,” he agreed as he washed his hands. “I was going to make a lovely pasta primavera the way my friend back home taught me. It’s one of Jake’s favorites, but he’s likely eating pie as we speak. Sweet, sweet, creamy pie. Yeah. He’ll likely steal my slice of pie, too, because he can be a greedy bastard. So he gets no dinner tonight.”
She was deeply confused about the whole pie thing. “I think he might get full if he eats too much pie.”
“Oh, he never gets enough of this pie. This is a forever pie. He’ll just keep eating on that pie as long as it takes. Fucker.” He gave her a brilliant smile. “But you and I are going shopping, and we’ll end our makeover session with a brilliant meal. I am going to prove to you just how gorgeous you can be. Come on, Avery. Do you trust me?”
He held a hand out.
New clothes? Maybe makeup? It wouldn’t mean a thing if she didn’t really want a new life.
“Yes. I will go with you.” She felt a smile steal over her face. Maybe Lee wouldn’t talk to her again, but the way he’d kissed her made her think he really was interested. It was crazy to think, but she had to give it a shot.
He was the most interesting thing that had happened to her in years. She’d made the decision when she’d taken the job with Thomas that she would try new things. At the time that had meant museums and tourist sights and job-related things.
But she wanted to try sex. Sex with a beautiful man who could make her feel again. It wouldn’t be forever. It wouldn’t even be for long, but just for a little while she could feel wanted and loved.
Just for a little while.
“I’m ready to go if you are, sweetheart. Let’s take the town.” Adam seemed ready to throw himself into a little fun.
And so was she. She’d screwed up royally, but she had a plan. She would face Lee, and she would know one way or another. No more hiding.
She was going to owe Adam. Maybe she would make him a pie. He seemed to really like pie.
She followed Adam out into the night, ready to start again.