Truth be told, she was still cross with herself for running—or rather, for falling into a trap and needing to run—from the trio of street rats. But, she thought, closing her hand around the satisfying weight in her cloak pocket, the outing hadn’t been a total waste.
As the tavern came into sight, she pulled the trinket from her cloak and paused beneath a lamppost to get a closer look at the take. When she did, her heart sank. She’d hoped for metal, something silver, or gold, but the lump was stone. Not a gem or a jewel, either. Not even a bit of crystal. It looked like a river rock—glossy and black—one side smooth and the other jagged, like it had been smashed or chipped off from a larger piece of stone. What kind of gent walked around with rocks in his pocket? And broken ones at that?
And yet, she thought she could feel something, a kind of prickle where her skin met the stone’s surface. Lila held it up to the light, and squinted at it a moment before dismissing the sensation and deeming the rock worthless—a sentimental trifle at best. Her mood soured as she shoved it back in her pocket and climbed the steps of the Stone’s Throw.
Even though the tavern was bustling, Barron looked up when she came in, eyes going from her face to the disguise tucked under her arm. She thought she saw a flicker of concern, and it made her cringe. She wasn’t his family. He wasn’t hers. She didn’t need his worry, and he didn’t need her weight.
“Run into trouble?” he asked as she passed up the counter and went straight for the stairs.
She wasn’t about to own up to being snared in the alley or running away from the fight, and her take had been a total bust, so she simply shrugged. “Nothing I couldn’t handle.”
The scrawny boy from the steps sat on a corner stool, eating a bowl of stew. Lila realized she was hungry—that is to say, hungrier than usual, Lila hadn’t felt full in years—but she was tired, too, and relieved to find that the call of her bones to bed was louder than that of her stomach to table. Besides, she hadn’t retrieved the coins. She had the silver, of course, but she had to save it if she was ever going to get out of this tavern, out of this city. Lila knew too well how the cycle went, thieves stealing only enough to stay thieves.
She had no intention of contenting herself to such meager victories. And now that she’d been made—she cursed the thought of three street rats discovering what three dozen constables hadn’t, that their wanted man wasn’t a man at all—stealing would only get harder. She needed larger scores, and she needed them soon.
Her stomach growled, and she knew Barron would give her something for nothing if she could bring herself to ask for it, but she couldn’t. She wouldn’t.
Lila Bard might have been a thief but she wasn’t a beggar.
And when she left—and she would—she had every intention of leaving behind the coin she owed him, down to the last farthing. She set off up the stairs.
At the top of the narrow steps stood a little landing with a green door. She remembered slamming that same door, shoving past Barron and down the steps, leaving only a tantrum in her wake. She remembered the fight—she’d stolen from a patron, and Barron had put her to task for it. What was worse, he’d wanted rent but barred her from paying him room and board with any “borrowed” coin. He’d wanted only honest money, and she had no way to get it, so he’d offered to pay her to help him run the tavern. She’d shot him down. Saying yes would have meant staying, and staying would have meant settling. In the end it’d been easier to hang the place and run. Not away, Lila had told herself. No, Lila had been running toward something. Something better. And even if she hadn’t reached it yet, she would.
“This isn’t a life!” she’d shouted, the handful of things she owned shoved under her arm. “This isn’t anything. It’s not enough. It’s not fucking enough.”
She hadn’t adopted the disguise yet, hadn’t been bold enough to rob outright.
There has to be more, she’d thought. I have to be more.
She’d grabbed the broad-brim hat from a hook near the door as she’d stormed out. It hadn’t been hers.
Barron hadn’t tried to stop her. He’d only gotten out of her way.
A life worth having is a life worth taking.
It had been almost a year—eleven months, two weeks, and a handful of days—since she’d stormed away from the little room and the Stone’s Throw, swearing she was done with both.
And yet here she was again. She reached the top of the stairs—each protesting her arrival as much as she did—and let herself in.
The sight of the room filled her with a mix of revulsion and relief. Bone-tired, she dug the rock from her pocket and dropped it with a thud onto a wooden table by the door.
Barron had set her top hat on the bed, and Lila sank down beside it to unlace her boots. They were worn to nearly nothing, and she cringed at the thought of how much it would cost to buy a decent pair. It wasn’t an easy thing to steal. Relieving a man of his pocket watch was one thing. Relieving him of his shoes was quite another.