I lift the sheet and fold it down, exposing the broad, defined expanse of his back again. Up close, I can make out the intricate details in the cross tattoo. Quinn is written inside it, along his spine. That must have hurt a lot. I stop when I reach the dimples that tell me if I keep going I’m going to get an eyeful of hockey butt again.
Since there’s nowhere to anchor the sheet on Captain Commando, I pull it a little lower, intending to tuck it under his hands. As predicted, they’re balled into fists. But when I graze his forearm, Lance’s hand shoots out and grabs my wrist, fingers lapping over each other. God, his hands are big. Just like the rest of him. And he’s touching me. That familiar hot feeling from forever ago rushes through me. I freeze as he turns to look at me, panic and uncertainty flashing in his eyes before a wall comes up and they go blank.
“Sorry. I didn’t expect that.” He releases my wrist and resumes his completely un-relaxed position on my massage table. Now that he’s not touching me anymore, I can breathe again.
I give him a few seconds before I move around to the other side. “I’m going to tuck the sheet under your left hand.” I say, to avoid startling him again.
Once the sheet is secure, I move to the top of the table, taking in the bruises along his lower back and the ones that span his ribs. Hovering my palms over his shoulder blades, I take a deep breath, exhaling my own anxiety as he seems to do the same. The energy in this room is thick with emotion—his and mine—and I don’t know what to make of it.
“I’m going to start now,” I tell him.
“’Kay,” his voice holds the same tension as his muscles when I place my palms on his clammy skin. I seem to be in control of my physical response to him this time, maybe because he seems so uncomfortable.
I stay perfectly still, hoping some of it will dissipate, but it doesn’t. “Lance?”
His muscles tighten even more. “Aye.”
“Are you okay?”
“Aye.”
“Does this hurt at all?” I don’t see how it could, considering I’m using no pressure.
“No.”
If his tension isn’t pain-based it must be anxiety-based. I’ll never work out any of his knots if he can’t relax. “Can I get you to breathe with me?”
“Huh?”
“It will help you relax.” At least I hope it will.
“Oh. Yeah. Sure. I guess,” he says something else I don’t catch.
“In and out to the count of four, okay?”
“Sure.”
“Inhale, one, two, three, four…exhale, one, two, three, four,” I murmur.
It seems to work, and after a moment his shoulders feel less like a wall and more like tight muscles. On the third inhale-exhale combination, I move my hands lower, and he tenses all over again.
“Just relax, Lance.”
CHAPTER 5
HANDS
LANCE
I hate it when people touch me. Like, I lose my shit when someone puts their hands on me, particularly if I don’t expect it. A psychiatrist once told me it’s a result of some kind of post-traumatic whatever from when my brother died. He didn’t know my mum also used to use me as her punching bag, or that I’m edgier about it when it’s women, not men.
I don’t like contact even when I know it’s coming. So that explains why I’m tense as shit lying on this massage table, anticipating the hour of torture that’s about to occur.
What makes it worse, or what made it worse until a few seconds ago, is that this woman—this curvy slip of a woman—is likely going to become the star of every whack-off session for the rest of my life.
My massage therapist is a ginger. A strawberry blonde. A redhead. A real one. Like me. Even though I’m lying facedown on the table, I can envision all that long, pretty hair hanging down her back, her sweet body and perfect round ass hugged by black yoga pants. She’s wearing running shoes—I can see them right now through the hole in the face holder—and her feet are small.
I didn’t get a chance to study her face all that well, since I’m busy freaking out about this whole situation. She looks familiar, though. But that’s often the way it is with redheads. We’re all a little familiar-looking to each other, because we’re such a rarity.
I’d been ready to tolerate the physical discomfort of having her hands on me for a prolonged period of time, but my anticipated reaction never comes. I’m tense as her palms and fingers move down my back, because that’s a conditioned response when someone of the opposite sex makes skin-to-skin contact, but the sensation I usually associate with it is absent.
Instead of feeling like there are bugs crawling under and over my skin, all I feel is warm. Warm skin. Warm hands. Warm. And that sensation radiates through me, shooting through my veins and jump-starting my adrenaline. A wave of goose bumps flashes across my skin, and I have to work to suppress a full-body shudder. What the fuck is that about?
“Are you cold? Should I get the heating pad for you?” she asks.
Even her voice is familiar and warm. I feel like I’m being wrapped in it.
“I’m fine.”
I’m actually not fine at all. I don’t know how to deal with this new development, especially while all I can do is lie here and take it.
“If you get cold, let me know.”
“Sure.”
She smoothes her palms down my back and back up again. And then her touch is gone. I’m about to express my displeasure at this when her hands return. This time they’re slick. She starts circular motions up and down my back—a light touch that I want more of. Which freaks me the fuck out, because I never want hands on me.
Not even when I was with Tash. I tolerated her touch because it was expected, but I never liked it. It never felt good—not like this.
I honestly don’t see how this girl can be effective, considering she has to be a foot shorter than me, but she’s strong—like, crazy strong. When she hits a knot, and there are loads of them, she runs her forearm over it, repeating the motion several times. She moves on to my shoulder, and I groan. The aches there are worse; maybe because I deflected a bunch of punches.
“Is that too much?” She pauses, but she doesn’t lift her palm from my skin. I’m starting to feel high from the contact.
“It’s just sore,” I grumble. “You can keep going.”
“If the pressure is too intense, let me know and I’ll ease up.”
I don’t say anything unless she asks me a direct question. I’m too busy focusing on the feel of her hands and how it should be unpleasant but isn’t.
Eventually she moves down to my lower back, which is really sore, probably from landing on the table. I don’t know how long it’s going to take for those aches to go away, but I’m going to need a lot more painkillers over the next couple of days to take the edge off.
“Would you like me to massage your legs?” she asks as she pulls the sheet up over me again.
I don’t want her to stop touching me, and if she’s done on my back I guess it makes sense to hit the lower half of my body. “Uh, sure.”
“Would you like me to include your glutes?”
It takes me a second to understand the question. “You mean massage my ass?”
I hear a puff of breath leave her; it sounds a little like a laugh. She clears her throat before she answers. “It’s a fairly common area for athletes, especially hockey players because of the high level of muscle strain and use.”
When she puts it that way, it sounds much less like she wants to feel my ass up, and more like she’s trying to do her job.
“Right. Sure.” If her hands feel good everywhere else, I’m sure they’ll feel just as great on my ass.
She rearranges the sheets, exposing one of my legs, and runs her hands down the entire length. It’s a strange sensation. I think the only place I’ve ever been touched on my leg is my thigh—when a bunny is getting ready to ask me if I want to go somewhere private so we can stop talking and start fucking.
Based on my body’s reaction, it seems like my dick thinks it’s the next thing Poppy’s going to massage. That reaction wanes when she gets to my IT band, which kills as she uses what feels like her shoulder to dig in.
“Does your trainer encourage any of you to do yoga?” she asks.
“No, why?”
“It might help with this.” She runs her forearm across the outside of my thigh, and I hiss.